I specialise in slaughtering sacred cows and discouraging the slaughter of real ones.
Archive for the ‘Sayings’ Category
“Wouldn’t take ‘fuck off’ as an answer.”
“They left the Great British Bake Off with all buns glazing.”
“Getting out of Bedlam on the wrong side.”
“Sheep at half the price.”
“If God had intended us to have wings, He would have made us fly.”
(to an author) “He puts the ink into incapable”.
“Oh what fun it is to ride, on a half-arsed broken sleigh.”
“He’s one buttock short of a full moon.”
How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?
An equal-opportunities twofer special:
“People who live below glass ceilings should throw stones.”
“People who live above glass ceilings should throw stones.”
Drunkenness: The guest of Bud intentions.
“There are three kinds of statistics: statistics, damned statistics, and lies.”
“Life irritates: art.”
“Pretension is better than The Cure”
“Don’t troll the feeds.”
A while ago there was a BBC Radio 4 trailer (trail? What is the difference; it used to always be “trailer” but now it seems usually to be “trail”) which contained the wonderful mixed metaphor “we’re on the very precipice of an runaway train”. Therefore, it seems reasonable to award an “Runaway Train Precipice Award” to similar endeavours in mixed metaphor. Candidate One comes from a punter on Dragon’s Den a couple of weeks ago, who had the excellent metaphor “when you buy a pizza, you expect it to do what it says on the tin”. Tinned pizza, yum! That said, there were (and probably still are) Fray Bentos tinned steak and kidney pies, so I suppose tinned pizza isn’t entirely outwith the realms of possibility.
“No rest for the wicked—and no wickedness for the rest.”
“Do I look like I’m made of time?”