“Real Artists Ship”

Colin Johnson’s blog


Archive for the ‘Sayings’ Category

Variations on Folk Sayings (18)

Wednesday, May 31st, 2017

Stranger things have happened in C.

Wai Kika Moo Kau

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

I specialise in slaughtering sacred cows and discouraging the slaughter of real ones.

Variations on Folk Sayings (17)

Friday, March 10th, 2017

“Wouldn’t take ‘fuck off’ as an answer.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (16)

Thursday, September 3rd, 2015

“They left the Great British Bake Off with all buns glazing.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (15)

Monday, August 25th, 2014

“Getting out of Bedlam on the wrong side.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (14) (Rural Austerity Special)

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

“Sheep at half the price.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (13)

Sunday, May 27th, 2012

“If God had intended us to have wings, He would have made us fly.”

Insults (1)

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

(to an author) “He puts the ink into incapable”.

Variations on Folk Sayings (12) (Seasonal Special)

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

“Oh what fun it is to ride, on a half-arsed broken sleigh.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (11)

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

“He’s one buttock short of a full moon.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (10)

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

Variations on Folk Sayings (9) (Latin Special)

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

“Caveat Mentor”

Variations on Folk Sayings (8)

Monday, October 11th, 2010

An equal-opportunities twofer special:

“People who live below glass ceilings should throw stones.”

“People who live above glass ceilings should throw stones.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (7)

Monday, September 13th, 2010

Drunkenness: The guest of Bud intentions.

Variations on Folk Sayings (6)

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

“There are three kinds of statistics: statistics, damned statistics, and lies.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (5)

Wednesday, April 14th, 2010

“Life irritates: art.”

Variations on Folk Sayings (What Morrissey Thinks) (4)

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

“Pretension is better than The Cure”

Variations on Folk Sayings (3)

Monday, January 18th, 2010

“Don’t troll the feeds.”

Mixed Metaphors (1)

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

A while ago there was a BBC Radio 4 trailer (trail? What is the difference; it used to always be “trailer” but now it seems usually to be “trail”) which contained the wonderful mixed metaphor “we’re on the very precipice of an runaway train”. Therefore, it seems reasonable to award an “Runaway Train Precipice Award” to similar endeavours in mixed metaphor. Candidate One comes from a punter on Dragon’s Den a couple of weeks ago, who had the excellent metaphor “when you buy a pizza, you expect it to do what it says on the tin”. Tinned pizza, yum! That said, there were (and probably still are) Fray Bentos tinned steak and kidney pies, so I suppose tinned pizza isn’t entirely outwith the realms of possibility.

Variations on Folk Sayings (2)

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

“No rest for the wicked—and no wickedness for the rest.”